So when I made my revised timeline for my life, I had hoped to get married this July. And I prayed that I would. Sometimes it seemed a little silly, but I still prayed anyway. I say "revised" because before that, I had hoped to get married right after college. And when that didn't happen, I made the necessary adjustments in my mind to find something else to hope for. I literally considered how much longer I thought I could make it being single, without dying, and I landed in July 2013. I thought that was even pushing it a little.
Yet here I am. It's July 2013. And I'm still single. Still alive.
Ok, maybe it's not amazing to anyone else that I'm still alive. My guess is that I'm probably the only one who thought there was reasonable cause to doubt. But really...I can hardly believe that I actually survived.
Because when I made those timelines, the future seemed so far away. I thought it would take forever to get here. Which is why I was fairly convinced that I might die first. But now that I'm here, it actually feels like time went by surprisingly quickly.
The other thing that I think is kind of amazing is that I'm not mad at God. Because I prayed for something very specifically. But it didn't happen. And He had the power to make it happen. But He didn't. And that's ok with me.
Which means I've learned something. I guess it could also just mean I'm having a good day, but let's go with the former.
I've learned that when God doesn't answer my prayers the way I want Him to, according to my timeline, it never ever means that He has stopped loving me or has stopped answering my prayers. Instead, it usually means that I need some perspective to see or imagine the possibilities that I am currently unable to see. Because there is more happening around me and in the spiritual realm than I could ever know. But God knows about it all. And He's lovingly working it out, somehow, someway, that my limited self is unable to comprehend. And the best part is that He's graciously doing it all to make those who love Him more like Jesus (Romans 8:28-30)
And I guess that's what faith does. A perspective of faith is based on who God is and what He says, not on circumstances. And it gives you eyes to see the unseen, to believe the impossible, to hope when all hope seems lost. (Hebrews 11:1, 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, Romans 4:18-25).
So I'm not mad. How could I be mad? Mad at a God who owes me nothing yet gives me everything? He's already given Jesus for me, which is more than enough, but with Him, that's just the start of all the good He wants to lavish upon His children (Romans 8:32). And that means there's more than enough to be grateful for. So I'm thankful that God is in control of my life and has planned it better than I could. He surely knows me better than I know myself. He knows the things that I want. He even knows all about the wonderful things that I don't even know are an option - that I don't even know enough to specifically pray for.
So I'm not mad. How could I be mad? Mad at a God who owes me nothing yet gives me everything? He's already given Jesus for me, which is more than enough, but with Him, that's just the start of all the good He wants to lavish upon His children (Romans 8:32). And that means there's more than enough to be grateful for. So I'm thankful that God is in control of my life and has planned it better than I could. He surely knows me better than I know myself. He knows the things that I want. He even knows all about the wonderful things that I don't even know are an option - that I don't even know enough to specifically pray for.
And so I'll keep praying. Because when He does answer specifically, then I can give Him credit for it. And when He doesn't answer in the way I thought I wanted, then I can assume He's answering in another way - maybe by doing something to bless me in a way I didn't even know was possible. Because I know my Father. And He doesn't give me a snake when I ask for a fish. Ever. "Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! (Matthew 7:9-11).
When Jesus spoke these words of His Father's goodness, He's the Only One who knew how deep, how red, His Father's love was toward us. Because that love had a cost that Jesus Himself chose to bear. He would be the One who would pray specifically to His Father and ask to be delivered, but instead, the Father would give Him the cup of wrath to drink. And He would trust in His Father's goodness so completely that He would bank His very life on it. When circumstances were at their worst, as He died on that cross, He knew that His Father was accomplishing the most amazing act of history - the salvation of men. Jesus submitted His timeline to His Father and trusted in His Father's good plan. That same Spirit that gave Jesus power to endure and to raise from the dead now lives in us who have turned to Him to receive the salvation He accomplished!
When Jesus spoke these words of His Father's goodness, He's the Only One who knew how deep, how red, His Father's love was toward us. Because that love had a cost that Jesus Himself chose to bear. He would be the One who would pray specifically to His Father and ask to be delivered, but instead, the Father would give Him the cup of wrath to drink. And He would trust in His Father's goodness so completely that He would bank His very life on it. When circumstances were at their worst, as He died on that cross, He knew that His Father was accomplishing the most amazing act of history - the salvation of men. Jesus submitted His timeline to His Father and trusted in His Father's good plan. That same Spirit that gave Jesus power to endure and to raise from the dead now lives in us who have turned to Him to receive the salvation He accomplished!
This is awesome news! Because life is hard. And disappointing. And God doesn't answer our prayers the way we want Him to. But He still loves us. He's still good. Just look at Jesus! (Hebrews 12:2-3). And He gives us power to endure. So we can still have joy. We can keep trusting Him. We can keep praying. And He gives us the grace to submit our life timelines to Him.
Looking back, it's so clear that the Lord has sustained me thus far. And since I've truly enjoyed this beautiful life the Lord has graciously given me, it seems pretty likely that I'm actually going to really love the future, no matter what it may hold, no matter the timing.
Looking back, it's so clear that the Lord has sustained me thus far. And since I've truly enjoyed this beautiful life the Lord has graciously given me, it seems pretty likely that I'm actually going to really love the future, no matter what it may hold, no matter the timing.
So when God reminds you that He doesn't operate according to your timeline,
Loving Him is Red!
What are you tempted to believe about God when He doesn't answer
your prayers on your timeline?
What would it look like to choose to believe His Word by faith,
instead of letting circumstances define your response?
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