Sacrifice - The Heart of Real Love

I'm not afraid to admit it. The newest movie version of Les Miserables literally had me weeping. I couldn't help but be moved by all the amazing examples of love, grace, and sacrifice, especially by Eponine's character and the sacrifices she makes for the sake of red love.

If you're unfamiliar with the plot, consider this your spoiler alert!

Here's a quick summary of pertinent details: Our story is set in France during the Revolution, where a young lady named Eponine is in love with an idealistic university student named Marius. But for Marius, it's love at first sight when he spots a girl named Cossette, and he enlists Eponine to help him reconnect with her. (He even literally sings about red love the way that Taylor does.) Of course, Eponine is so in love with Marius that she is willing to do anything for him and agrees to help. Then once our young revolutionaries (including Marius and Eponine) decide to take their stand against the French army, Eponine sacrifices her life by jumping in front of Marius, taking the bullet that was meant for him.

For the life of me, I still can't totally understand why Eponine loves Marius or why he doesn't love her back...but I guess that's part of what makes her story so beautiful. She's in love with Marius - a fool, who takes her love for granted, though she loves him enough to die for him. And she knows that he'll never love her back, yet she willingly takes a bullet for him. She gives her own life to save his, even though he wouldn't do the same. I get all teary just thinking about it.

But why? Why is this sacrifice beautiful? Why do you and I blink back tears as Eponine dies to save the man she so deeply loves? I think it's because she points to Jesus and the sacrifice involved in His love story. God's whole definition of love is based around Jesus' sacrifice: "In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." (1 John 4:10). So as we see Eponine give her life for a man who does not love her back, we see a beautiful picture of what Jesus has done. Though we were blind fools who took His love for granted, He loved us enough to die for us.

And the death of Jesus wasn't just any death - it was the most horrifying, shameful death in all of history. He was wrongfully condemned as a criminal, tortured beyond comprehension so that at the end of it, he didn't even look like a man anymore, and He was nailed to a cross and hung there completely naked, exposed and vulnerable, while those who stood watching mocked Him, spit on Him, and called out false accusations against Him. But that's not even the worse part. As He hung there, making payment for the sins of the world, He bore the crushing weight of His Father's wrath and righteous anger upon His soul. And He willingly faced this terror for His enemies, like you and me - all so that our sins would no longer condemn us and separate us from a Holy God. He died that we might live! (Mark 15, Isaiah 53, Hebrews 12:1-2).

What's even more amazing is that Jesus didn't stay dead! God the Father accepted Jesus' sacrifice for sin, and as proof of that, Jesus resurrected from the dead! The power of sin and death could not hold Him, since they were no match for the power of His indestructible life. And because Christ was raised from the dead, we can also live a new life now and for eternity! (Mark 16, Hebrews 7:15-19, Romans 6:3-11)

Part of that new life is to become more and more like Jesus. As we look at Him and someone like Eponine who so beautifully demonstrates sacrificial love, it should transform us and give us an ever-increasing desire for that kind of love to shine out of our lives.

In thinking about this concept and it's intersection with a longing for red love, there seem to be plenty of opportunities to cultivate a heart of sacrifice. So whenever I realize that I'm interested in someone, of course, I do what a bunch of us do...I pray that we would either get married or that God would take the feelings away. But as you can see, I'm not married, and as you might be able to glean from my writing, I have more intense feelings than I know what to do with. So instead of giving into fear and frustration, for the past few years I've tried to put these feelings to good use to help me become more like Jesus. 

What do I mean? Well, let's be honest here...as a woman, wisdom typically hinders me from declaring my feelings, but they refuse to go away, so they're just all bottled up inside me, threatening to kill me at any second...and surely something must be done with them! I've tried to deny the feelings out of self-protection, but that response doesn't really leave me more like Jesus. So I pray some very challenging prayers. If I'm interested in a man, I pray for him, and I pray that he would marry someone much more godly than I am. And I pray that God would give him the desires of his heart, even if that does not include me. And I pray for anything else good that I can think of for him, even if that good might lead to my pain.  

I know it might sound kind of strange, but this is a very helpful and purposeful way for me to:

1. Learn to trust Jesus 
It's pretty easy for me to freak out when I think about the possibility of not getting the things I long for most. But in the midst of my freak outs, I lose sight of my gracious Heavenly Father who loves me, wants to care for and provide for me, but who doesn't want me to be enslaved by my desires. So I talk to Him about the things that seem scariest to me and recognize that I'm not the one who's in control, but He is. 

2. Choose to be like Jesus 
It is so helpful for me to choose to love another person more than I love myself. Because naturally I'm a very selfish person, so I just want what I want, when I want it. But I have been captivated by the sacrificial love of Christ. It's amazing. I just can't get enough of it. And I want to be like Him in it. So when I think of all that He has done - that He loved me, at great cost to Himself, though there was nothing particularly lovable about me, and though I expressed no desire to love Him in return - I cannot help but desire to be like Him in His love. Though the sacrifice involved in this type of love goes against everything in my flesh, my new heart embraces the freedom found in choosing to love this way, because it's motivated by the same freedom Jesus had to give up His life for us.  

3. Get to know Jesus in a deeper way
For me to love another person unselfishly (though imperfectly) even in the tiniest degree is the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. As I have prayed these challenging prayers by faith, and as the Lord has actually changed my heart to desire the things I'm praying for, I feel like I have grown closer to Christ and have understood His love in ways I never have before. And my guess is that's why it's no mistake that the epic line toward the end of Les Mis, "To love another person is to see the face of God," is set to the music of Eponine's song, On My Own.  When we choose to love others sacrificially, as Eponine did and as Jesus did, we see and experience Christ's love more clearly. We get to experience bits and pieces of what He went through to win us back. It was painful for Him, just like it is for us. But the joy of getting us back kept Him going, and the joy of knowing Him can keep us going. 

Why Jesus ever thought it was worth it to give up His life to get us, I still don't know. 

But I do know that Jesus' sacrificial love is so beautiful! 

Loving Him is Red!

Check out this Les Mis movie trailer set to Eponine's amazing song: On My Own

Have you been captivated by the sacrificial love of Jesus? If so, how are you seeking to train your heart to love others, even when it comes at a great cost to yourself? 

How will you celebrate the sacrificial love of Jesus this weekend as we look back on Jesus' death and resurrection?

The Trouble with Idols

You could scarcely hope to escape Taylor Swift while reading a blog with its title inspired by one of her songs. Really, it was only a matter of time til I wrote about another one of her chart toppers. These days, her song I Knew You Were Trouble is everywhere. Whether's it's the screaming goat version or the regular old music video, this song is currently inescapable.

In the song, Taylor describes a relationship that she knows is a bad idea from the start. But she enters the relationship anyway. Thus the music video is a mixture of the excitement that enticed her to begin the relationship and the desperation that followed its demise.

If it weren't so easy to relate with Taylor, it would indeed be much easier to be critical of her poor relationship choices. But I do believe that the prospect of red love can tend to bring out the fool in all of us. Thus, I think there's much we can learn about the darker, deceptive call of red love, our tendency toward idolatry, and our need for a savior simply by observing this song and video.

As you can see, Taylor wakes up alone in the middle of a desert wasteland. This opening is meant to no doubt fit with her lyric, "Now I'm lying on the cold, hard ground." Her monologue, though arguably poorly acted, contains the elements of a heartbreaking story and is only intensified by the ominous cello-like background accompaniment. And then right before the song starts, she says, "The worst part of it all wasn't losing him; it was losing me."  What a sad picture! This girl has lost her very self all in the pursuit of love. And what's worse is that you and I do the same thing. 

Though I don't think she meant to, Taylor has given us a glance into the heart of idolatry. You see, our hearts deceive us into thinking that worshiping idols will give us whatever it is we so desperately desire, since idols promise us the world, but in the end, they take everything from us, leaving us empty, vulnerable, and alone. 

When I say that we worship idols, what I mean is that we love other things, including relationships and the prospect of being loved, more than we love God. And God considers this spiritual adultery. As His people, He calls us His Bride, and He wants us to be faithful to Him. But we're not very good at that, and our sin often lands us in a place much like Taylor's has landed her - in a desert wasteland. 

Of course, Taylor's not the first to sing about the pain of "lying on the cold hard, ground." Natalie Imbruglia's smash hit from the late 90s, Torn, describes similar ill effects of a relationship in which she sings: "Nothing's fine. I'm torn. I'm all out of faith. This is how I feel. I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor. Illusion never changed into something real. I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn." So our sin and foolishness not only lead us to make choices that leave us empty, vulnerable, and alone, but which leave us "torn" - hurt and damaged in the end. 

But the thing that's so great about the Lord is, unlike our idols, He doesn't just leave us there to die. Instead, He says of us, "Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her" (Hosea 2:14). In that barren place where we've found ourselves broken and alone, God wants to speak sweetly to us to bring us back to Himself. Though the Lord has allowed these sad experiences to leave us "torn," He intends to heal us! And He wants us back! "Come let us return to the Lord for He has torn us, that He might heal us; he has struck us down, and He will bind us up" (Hosea 6:1). 

And He does more than just heal us. He enters into our brokenness. Jesus Himself was torn apart for our sake. On the cross, His flesh was torn - like the curtain that used to hang in the temple to prevent sinners from entering God's presence - so that there would be nothing that could separate us from Him ever again. (Hebrews 10:20).

So if God is obviously so much better than our idols, why do we still find ourselves easily caught in the troublesome web of idolatry? It's because our idols whisper "sweet nothings" in our ears. So as our idols become more and more attractive, we find it hard to believe that Satan is chiming in to tempt us with his ugly lies. Then we grow "tired of hope with nothing to hold" and start to wonder if the gospel, not the idol, is just the Sweet Nothing that Calvin Harris and Florence Welsh sing about. 

But we've got the situation reversed. In the midst of these temptations, we must remind each other that the promises of an idol are "empty air," but that the promises of the gospel are real. We need a call to stop embracing the "sweet nothing" of our idol, but to "hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful" (Hebrews 10:23). And we must remember that: "faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1). Though we may not currently have anything "to hold" or to show for the hope that we have in Jesus, we have the Spirit of God living inside of us as an assurance of the eternal inheritance that is waiting for us in Heaven. 

And we need people in our lives to help us see these things. So I have friends that I regularly check in with to ask them if I'm being a fool in my relationships. I will email, text, call, chat with them in person, really whatever it takes...just so I can ask them whether or not I'm being an idiot in a particular situation. And since my perceptions are typically backwards, they usually reassure me that I'm being wise when I'm feeling foolish (like when I feel incredibly stupid for still being single while putting my hope in the Lord and waiting for a particular type of man) or that I'm being foolish when I think I'm acting on wisdom (like when I let my desire for love start to make me think that maybe I could date a guy even though I haven't been impressed by his character).

Do you have friends like this? Friends you can trust, who will tell you the truth even if you don't want to hear it? Friends who want to see you trust and love Jesus more than they want you to just get what you want? Friends who know what the Bible has to say about wisdom, foolishness, and idolatry?

Because the truth is that idols promise everything, but only bring sadness and shame. They promise to give us all we've ever wanted, and for a while it looks like they can deliver, but they actually rob us of everything in the end. The opposite is true of the Lord. He asks us to surrender everything, and for a while it doesn't seem like we will have anything to show for it, but in the end we receive more than we could ever imagine - namely Jesus. He's the One who offers us true hope, healing, and the sweet realities of an eternity spent with Him.

Cuz Loving Him is Red.

Other thoughts on why our idols can be so deceptively enticing?

How else can we help each other remember that loving Jesus is better than worshipping idols?

A Great Capacity to Love

This past week, some friends and I watched The Sound of Music together. It was a lot of fun to sing along with the songs I had learned and enjoyed as a child and to experience the love story all over again. But one thing I had not expected or remembered was how helpful the Reverend Mother was at giving advice and wisdom when it came to honoring God with red love.

If you remember, the Reverend Mother is the head nun at the convent where Maria (our leading lady) has come to take her vows of nunhood. When it doesn't seem to be going very well, the Reverend Mother sends Maria to spend some time as a governess to take a break from the convent. But when Maria realizes that she's fallen in love, she comes back to the convent confused and frightened.

This is how Maria describes her first encounter with red love: "I've never felt that way before...Oh, there were times when we would look at each other - oh, Mother, I could hardly breathe... That's what's been torturing me. I was there on God's errand. To have asked for his love would have been wrong...Please help me." And the Reverend Mother responds with this piece of advice - "You have a great capacity to love. What you must find out is how God wants you to spend your love."

Though I am not in the same situation as Maria, (since I am most certainly not contemplating becoming a nun), I found myself quite encouraged by these words of advice.
Because it's easy for me to think about how I would prefer to spend my love, but it's harder to truly consider how God has called me to spend my love, especially when it looks different than my preference.

For a little while now, I have been wrestling with the feeling that I have all of this love in my heart that is being wasted simply because I'm single. I don't even know quite how to describe the inner struggle. It's like this internal sense that I have the capacity to be more, to love more, to give more...but no one gets to benefit from it. And then the downward spiral begins. 

I start to think, "Wouldn't it be better to at least just marry someone so that all this love doesn't go to waste?" But then I remember that my romantic streak as well as my desire to honor God would never permit me to go through with that. So then I grow increasingly impatient for the man of my dreams to come find me, and then I become subsequently discouraged since such a man would, of course, never be interested in me, and thus, I conclude that all of my love will, in fact, end up being wasted.

As any discerning person might realize, these unbridled feelings of mine are flooded with ridiculous lies, which is partially why I share them with you. It's easy for me to think that all of my feelings are true and that no one else quite understands - that I am alone in my struggle. But the Bible says that our temptations are not unique, but common, and that Jesus faced them all (1 Corinthians 10:13, Hebrews 4:15).

In this situation, as I began to recognize that I was believing lies, I knew I needed to more closely consider what was going on in my head and my heart, so I started to think about why I tend to feel like my love is being wasted. 

For one thing, I've seen that when a man is in love with a woman, she has a tremendous opportunity to be his biggest cheerleader. If he knows that she is standing with him and fully supports and believes in him, then he pretty much feels like he can tackle anything that comes his way. Think of our beloved Matthew Crawley from Downton Abbey when he says to his lady, "I believe I can make Downton safe for our children, but I can only do it if you're with me." Or consider David Guetta's hit song, Without You, in which Usher sings about the great things he wants to do, but can't, unless he has the support of the woman he loves - "I won't soar, I won't climb, if you're not here, I'm paralyzed."  This idea that I could remind a man of the gospel daily simply by being with him and encouraging him with who he is in Christ, is extremely exciting to me! And I want to do that! 

And it's a good desire for me to have, but I must subject it to the Lord - His will and His timing.

Because the thing is, I don't have control over what man does or does not love me nor do I have control over the time frame. But God does. And if God hasn't allowed the man I'm waiting for to pursue me, then that means that right now God is calling me to spend my love some other way. How I choose to spend my love is something that I have control over. So if I'm excited to spend my love by encouraging God's work in the people around me, then what's to stop me from doing so?

By God's grace, I've been attempting to pay attention to the people around me in order to encourage them with the truths of the gospel any chance I can get. I've been trying to tell them when I notice evidences of grace in their lives so that they can be reminded that God is doing great things in them and through them. I've been striving to cherish and embrace opportunities that God has given me to just spend time with people and live life alongside them, especially in ways that I might not be able to if I ever get married. And it's been amazing! I love spending my love this way!

Because if we are in any way fearful that our love is being wasted or repressed, then we must assuredly and appropriately give it away to everyone we know, especially to those we would be most hesitant to love naturally. This is certainly the example that Jesus set for us by giving His life for us weary sinners. And if we are acutely aware that Jesus has poured His love into our hearts so that we can pour that same love out on others, why would we delay in doing so? Simply because we are afraid that we will be restricted from loving the person we want? Indeed, the Person we want most has asked us to pour all of our love back on Him daily.  

Though Jesus has called us to love others, our greatest call is to love Him. And as we experience Jesus' great love in forgiving our many sins, He awakens within us a deeper and greater capacity to love Him. Even if we are tempted to consider it a waste, Jesus most certainly commends those who pour out their love on Him. Just think of the woman who literally pours out her perfume, love, and livelihood at Jesus' feet. Others may have considered it a waste, but Jesus considered it beautiful. (Luke 7:36-50).

When you're forgiven much, you can't help but ever increasingly love the One who has forgiven you. So spending your great capacity to love on Him will never be a waste. 

Because Loving Him is Red.

A Few More Thoughts:

Ladies - If you're like me and excited to be one man's greatest cheerleader someday, I hope you'll wait for a man you deeply respect, who reminds you of Jesus more than anyone you've ever met, and who is passionate to serve God in a way that excites you - otherwise, you won't be a very good cheerleader to him, and that would be sad for both of you. 
Also, as I shared these ideas with a wise friend, she suggested that it was part of how God made women as helpers. This just happens to be the topic of the DiscipleMakers Women's Conference this year! So if you're a female student involved with DM and you can resonate with what I shared about wanting to be an encourager, some of the most amazing women I know want to help you learn what it means to love Jesus and love others, particularly as a woman. Go ahead and register :) Not involved? Check out the Women's ministry at your church and find an older woman in the faith to help you learn what it means to be a godly woman.

Men - If you want to marry a woman who will be your greatest cheerleader someday, I hope you'll pursue a woman who deeply encourages you with grace, who loves Jesus more than anyone you've ever met, and who is excited about how God has called you to serve Him - otherwise she won't be a very good cheerleader to you, and that would be sad for both of you.
Shockingly, I'm not a guy, so I don't fully understand how God might want you to spend your love and energy, besides of course, dedicating it to the Lord and in the service of others. However, I'm so thankful that there are awesome older men in the faith who want to teach you about Biblical manhood. I'd encourage you to take the time to learn from these men in your campus fellowships and in your churches. Take advantage of events like Man Up: Follow Jesus or Men's Conference: Lord of the Earth!

Anyone else have any ideas of what it looks like to spend your love in a way that honors the Lord, especially when it's not how you would prefer to spend it at the moment?