28 Life Lessons Worth Learning

This past Monday, I turned 28. Hard to believe, I know… 

But the truth is, God has taught me some pretty big things in those 28 years. In fact, I'd say that these lessons have been so integral to learning how to do life that I want to make sure to never forget them. So I figured, why not jot some of them down as a reminder? As per usual, I thought I might as well share them with you all as well. Here goes:

1. Life's an adventure. It's full of twists and turns, ups and downs, mountains and valleys. It's not always easy, but it's exciting to discover what comes next, especially because you'll be with the one who knows you best and loves you most. (Genesis 12:1)

2. You don't need to predict the future. You're not a fortune teller, and neither is God. I know you think that it will make you feel better if you only knew what was going to happen, but there are things that God has not yet intended to reveal to you. So embrace the adventure, and walk by faith. (Hebrews 11) 

3. Life decisions aren't as earth shattering as you might be tempted to believe. Do you really think that you're so powerful that you could mess up your life in a way that God can't redeem? Look at all the beauty God has been able to bring from the mess so far. 
(Romans 8:28)

4. Second guessing your decisions will never help you move forward. It just makes sense. Looking back slows you down. Keep taking steps of faith, instead. You will make mistakes, but you can learn from them, and move on. (Luke 9:62). 

5. You're not a victim. You don't have control over everything that happens, but you do have choices to make. Make them. You don't have to feel stuck. If you don't like the direction your life is going, figure out what steps you can take, and trust God with the outcome. (Proverbs 16:1)

6. If your main goal in life is to get married, you have forgotten how to dream. I'm not saying that it's bad to desire marriage or to desire to lead a godly and quiet life, but is that honestly all you want your life to be about?  Don't you want your life to be about something more? (1 Corinthians 7:32-35, 2 Corinthians 5:11-21)

7. It's not romantic to center your life around loving anyone besides Jesus. It's idolatry, and it will make your life miserable. Do you really want to go back to the slavery of letting your life revolve around the need for someone to love you? You're already loved.
(Romans 1:18-25; 8:38-39)

8. If you need people to love you, you can't actually love them. Instead, you will base your worth on whether you feel loved by them at the current moment or not. And how can you possibly think about what's best for another person when you're so busy thinking about yourself and what you need? (John 15:13)

9. Your worth is defined by the price that Jesus paid for you. And He paid it all. To Him, you were worth His very life. And that means you are loved. Always. Despite all other circumstances. Despite how you feel. That's the truth. (John 3:16, Galatians 1:3-5)

10. The fight to end your love affair with the mirror is a battle worth fighting. The mirror doesn't love you. It will let you down. And do you really want your worth to be defined by your ever fluctuating evaluation of how you look on any given day? It's slavery. Fight to be free. (Romans 6)

11. Cultivating internal beauty is infinitely more important than external. Do you know how much God cares about your heart? Don't you want to cultivate beauty that lasts instead of only focusing on beauty that will fade away? (Proverbs 31:30, Isaiah 40:8)

12. But it is still important to honor God with your body. Don't buy the lie that if God cares about the heart, He must not care about the outside. Don't you know that whatever's on the inside overflows to the outside? Your life can proclaim that only Jesus satisfies by eating and exercising in a way that reflects God's good boundaries on your life. (Psalm 34:8, Psalm 16:5-6)

13. Bringing struggles into the open is better than hiding. You don't have to hide. Bring your struggles into the light. When you do, you can fight the lies that Satan has been using to keep you in chains. Don't you want to be free? (1 John 1) 

14. When a friend points out your sin, don't second guess their love for you. A good friend would not bring these things up unless they cared about you. They can see the things you're blind to. And they want to help you. So listen. (Proverbs 27:6)

15. Comparing yourself to others makes you more insecure, not less. Do you really think you'll ever come out on top in every category? Comparing is a futile and prideful way to try to build your own kingdom. Plus, how in the world are you ever going to love any of the people in your life if you are so busy trying to decide how they measure up to you or how you measure up to them? You will be crushed if you think they're better than you, and you will be prideful and self righteous if you think you're the best. Really. Just stop. (Proverbs 16:5; 29:25)

16. You can learn from others by appreciating their strengths. If you don't have to compare, then it's actually ok for others to be good at things you're not. Encourage them to keep using their gifts for the Lord, and ask them to help you in your weaknesses. (Ephesians 4:1-16)

17. You can help others in their weaknesses instead of getting annoyed. If you don't have to compare, then it's actually ok to be good at things when others are not. And instead of looking down on them, you can offer your gifts as a way to build up the body. (1 Corinthians 12)

18. If you aren't cultivating your talents and using them for God's glory, you are wasting them. Don't waste them. And don't be so afraid that you will just use them for your own glory that you avoid the internal fight to use them for Him and to build others up. Give God a good return on His investment in you. (Matthew 25:14-30)

19. Real joy is found in laying aside your selfishness to serve others. Have you honestly ever been happy when you've been obsessed with trying to feel loved by others? Don't you come alive when you try to think of ways to care for them, instead? (John 13:1-20)

20. The pursuit of humility is a worthwhile endeavor. God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Do you really want God to deliberately oppose you? Plus, you're really not that impressive. And anything great about you is from the Lord anyway. Jesus was impressive enough on your behalf. Rest in that. Then you can apologize and seek unity more than you seek to be right. You won't need to defend yourself. Jesus can do that. (James 4:6)

21. Asking questions doesn't make you stupid; it helps you become wise. So be curious. Don't pretend to know everything. You don't. You know it. And so does everyone else. So stop acting like you're fooling anyone into thinking otherwise, and start learning. (Proverbs 1:1-7)

22. The person you become through suffering is a person worth being. Beautiful things happen to you when you seek to trust God in the midst of sadness and pain. You become more like Jesus. And that's the whole reason you exist. (1 Peter 1, James 1)

23. You can fight bitterness with thankfulness. Don't allow hurt feelings to turn into bitterness and anger towards the person who seemed to cause the hurt. You cared about this person for a reason. Remember those things and thank God for them. (Eph 4:17-32, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

24. The hard work of forgiveness is worth the cost you pay. It's a high cost, but Jesus paid a much higher cost to forgive you. He can give you the strength to forgive others.  (Matthew 18:21-35). 

25. It really is true that you find your life when you lose it. So stop trying to desperately hold onto the things you want in this life. You'll find freedom when you let them go. And then you can enjoy life for what it is. (Matthew 10:39)

26. You see God's provision more acutely when you're uncomfortably generous. I know it's scary. But He will take care of you. When you use your resources for Him and His kingdom, He will always supply all you need. And honestly, he gives you abundantly more than that. He is a lavish God. (2 Corinthians 8:1-15)

27. It's good to think about the rest of the world. Don't get so comfortable in your life that you don't think about God's heart for the world and how He might use you to reach it. (Matthew 28:19)

28. You don't have to wait for the "right moment" to preach the gospel. The moment you're waiting for might not come. And then you'll be sad that you didn't love that person enough to share the best news in the world with them. So find a way to talk about Jesus, and trust God with the results. It doesn't have to be weird. Just share your heart. 
(1 Peter 3:15)

So there's my list so far! It's honestly helped me to live in so much more joy and freedom than I ever have before! And I hope it encourages you as well :)

Loving Him is Red! 

Do you have a list of life lessons? What has God been teaching you?

The Year I Started Living

Sometimes when you're in the middle of something, you can't see what's happening very clearly. It's only after you come out the other side of the tunnel that you even know what hit you.

During 2014, I reached the end of a tunnel. And when I did, I realized that something miraculous had taken place:

I started living.

I'm not really sure what I was doing before that or even how I got to that place, but the best way I know how to summarize the change that happened in the past year is by saying: 

I stopped letting my relationship status define my life. And it's felt like the difference between slavery and freedom. 

The weird thing is, I didn't even realize how many fears I had or how enslaved I was to them until I started experiencing what a deeper sense of freedom could feel like. 

Thankfully, the truth can set us free! 

Choosing to believe God's Word has made all the difference in helping me break out of my self-imposed prison.  

So now when I start to feel weighed down, burdened, and saddened by whatever circumstances seem to be the source of my distress, I've been quicker to realize that I'm probably believing some lie about my identity, about the Lord, or both, and I need to talk to Him about it. Actually, I need to let Him talk to me.  
  
Here's one such conversation from about a year ago that I wrote down in the midst of a major moment of struggle.

12/27/13

This is not who you are Sarah. You are not defined by your relationship status. You are not less of a person because you're not married or because you're not in a relationship, or because there are no men who are madly in love with you. I love you, and I'm the one who matters. Don't believe these lies. They will kill your soul, slowly from the inside, until you are desperately sad - totally stripped of the beautiful joy I intend for you to possess. I never meant for you to put your hope in earthly things. There is no cut off age for marriage - no age at which you are given the official title of total loser and rejected outcast, though I know sometimes you feel that way. Let me tell you something. I came once for people like you, and I am coming again. I will not forget you or overlook this current suffering. Though, I promise, one day it will be even less than a memory. Keep waiting. You are not rejected. You are not forgotten. Can a nursing mother forget her baby? Never! So I can never ever forget you! (Isa 49:14-16) It's time for you to be freed from this lie. I release you. Go and be healed (Mark 5:25-34).

Now, in the moment, this conversation didn't seem like a major turning point. I had honestly forgotten about it until I was rifling through some old documents. But reading over it again reminded me that the continual process of confronting the ugly lies that I had allowed to define me for so long was really what helped propel me toward freedom.  

Singleness is not a disease that needs to be healed. Real healing comes when we stop believing the lies that keep us in chains. And waiting for a godly spouse isn't a bad thing. But waiting expectantly for Jesus to come back is much more important. He is everything. And waiting for Him doesn't just look like sitting around til He gets here. He calls us to live for Him. And because of the Spirit that He's given us, we actually can!

Why then should we listen to our feelings when they tell us that our relationship status, or anything other than Jesus' perfect life, death, and resurrection defines us, when it will only leave us trapped, paralyzed by fear, and completely unable to move forward?

I don't need to be a slave to fear. Shame does not define me. Jesus does. He says I'm loved. He says I'm adopted into His family. He says I'm free.

Here are some concrete examples of what the change from slavery to freedom has looked like in my life:

Slavery - I used to think that I needed to wait to move away from State College until I got married. I felt paralyzed to even imagine where I could go next in the future. I didn't even want to think about it, because the idea of making that decision all by myself was so terrifying.
Freedom - A year ago, I decided I was going to move to Lewisburg, because that's where I felt like The Lord was calling me to go. And I didn't want my fears to prevent me from following Him or being used by Him.

Slavery - I used to think that I needed to wait to get bedroom furniture that I actually liked until after I got married.
Freedom - This summer, I found great bedroom furniture on Craigslist that I absolutely loved. I bought it without hesitating.

Slavery - I used to set deadlines for the latest date I could possibly get married based on my age and how long I thought I could wait without literally dying. I felt like I couldn't even commit to summer plans, because then it felt like it ruled out the possibility of getting married during that time.
Freedom - I decided to go on a mission trip to Colombia this summer without even thinking about the idea that the summer is when I should be getting married.

Slavery - I used to think that I needed to marry a guy who could take care of money and budgeting, because it was too scary for me to think about investing. And I definitely needed to wait to invest in buying a house. I felt like getting a house as a single woman would be equivalent to giving up.
Freedom - Now, I've started talking with a financial planner to help me figure out how to best invest my money to help me save for a house, because I would be excited for the opportunity to have another way to bless and minister to others.

These are just a few examples of the steps The Lord has helped me take into freedom. And I  can't wait to see what else He has in store for 2015!

There is no reason to live in slavery when Christ has set us free. He offers us freedom, and we are free to live in it right now! 

At the start of a new year, Loving Him is Red !

What lies have you been believing that keep you enslaved to fear? 

What would it look like to start living in freedom today?