Death Kills Happy Endings; Jesus Resurrects

I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't have a reason to write this...

But sadly, death is one of the cruelest reminders that this world is broken beyond comprehension. And whenever we seem to forget it, it has this ugly way of interrupting our lives with its devastation, refusing to be ignored. 

I do not wish to assert any kind of expertise on this topic. Many friends, family, and others have experienced the up-close-and-personal reality of death in a way that I have not. 

However, death is a reality, for those who have gone through the heartbreaking death of a loved one and for us all. No one is exempt. So I offer this, not to belittle the pain of those going through the deep suffering associated with death, but as a fellow sufferer who is looking for hope in the midst of the saddest thing we face in this life. 

Here are some fresh reflections upon the untimely death of someone who felt very much like a friend:

Last Sunday morning, I woke up to a text from a fellow Glee fan, letting me know that my favorite male actor, Cory Monteith, had died. I was shocked. And speechless. I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't believe it. But the texts kept coming...more friends were forcing me to face the facts: A man's life had ended. And there was absolutely nothing that anyone could do about it. This was final. Unable to be undone.

But something deeper was bothering me. It seemed that this was more than just the death of a celebrity, something greater than the death of a person. This was the death of a love story. This was a happily ever after that would never come to be. And it felt wrong. Completely wrong. 

As you recall, Cory played Finn on Glee. He ever-increasingly pulled at my heartstrings as one half of the leading couple of the show - Finn and Rachel. Their relationship was hands down my favorite thing about Glee. I loved them together. On more than one occaision, I've even been known to search through past episodes just to find the Finchel moments. And as I wrote about in Real Men Love Like Jesus, my favorite thing about Finn was the way his love for Rachel reminded me of Jesus. 

These two loved each other with a red love, and as far I was concerned, the only proper way to end Glee would be with the wedding of Finn and Rachel. But now that will never happen. Can't happen. 

And just to add to the absolute heartbreak of the entire situation, Lea Michele (who plays Rachel) and Cory were also a couple off-screen, were deeply in love, and seemed to be headed for marriage in their eminent future. But now it's not possible.

And what's worse is that these same tragedies happen all the time - not just in Hollywood - but to our friends, to our families, to us. During this summer alone, I can count at least 5 deaths of the loved ones of people who are close to me - many of them, seemingly premature. 

And as I've grappled with these losses, I've realized a few things. Death doesn't care how old you are, how much money you make, how many people adore you. No matter how long and how much you love another person, there's no stopping the cruel hand of death. Death kills the best love stories. 

Yet, there's something in all of us that knows that death is wrong, that it shouldn't be this way, that death shouldn't rob us of life and the lives of those we love. Especially when it's someone young. It seems unjust. 

Unfortunately, I can't simply paint us as innocent victims. According to the Bible, we all fall short - all have sinned (Romans 3:23). You, me, Cory, everybody... And death is the just punishment for sin (Romans 6:23). So though it's hard to hear, when we experience the consequences of death, we are actually getting what we deserve.

But that's not what God created us for. He didn't create us to sin. He didn't create us to die (Genesis 2:17). He made us to be with Him, to love Him, to have a perfect relationship with Him in a perfect world. We were made for a happy ending.

However, we have no way to get back to perfection, to Eden. So Jesus took on death, paying the just penalty for our sins. And when He resurrected, He proved that death would not reign supreme, but through grace, we would reign with Him (Romans 5:17). And when He comes back, all victory will be His. For those who trust in Him for life - He lets us share in His victory. The gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus! (Romans 6:23). He gives us the opportunity to share in His love story - the one that all others point to. So we actually participate in the love story that never ends - that death could not kill.

Sadly, if you have not accepted Jesus' payment for your sins, you have volunteered to pay for them yourself, and so you are death's prisoner...now and for all eternity (Romans 6:16-18). Death has killed and will kill every single love story, every happy ending, except the one that Jesus has resurrected - His own. So any happy ending you find in this life is only temporary. But your slavery to death is self-imposed. He wants to free you. He wants you to be part of His eternal happy ending. All you have to do is ask (John 3:16-21). 

So for now, death may steal away our happy endings. I'm still grieving over Cory and for Lea. I'm still saddened that Finn and Rachel will never get married. I'm still brokenhearted for all my friends who have lost those so dear to them. Because we are made for a happy ending that this life cannot deliver. But Jesus can. With Jesus, death isn't the end. He can resurrect. He makes all broken things new. He's working on it even now. (Revelation 21:5). And His glorious story has the best ending - complete with the perfect wedding (Revelation 19:6-9, 21:1-4). I can't wait.

In the midst of loss, grief, and pain...Loving Him is Red.

What other Scriptures have comforted you when dealing with the harsh realities of death?

How do you find hope when death kills a happy ending?

Trust Jesus, Not a Timeline

Remember last week when I told you about how much I love the 4th of July? Well there's another thing I love about July. It's an idea really. A dream. You can ask my closest friends. They'll tell you. I absolutely adore the idea of getting married in July. Why? Oh, probably for similar reasons to why I love the 4th. It's warm. It's beautiful. It's perfect. And the possibility of fireworks is definitely a significant factor.

So when I made my revised timeline for my life, I had hoped to get married this July. And I prayed that I would. Sometimes it seemed a little silly, but I still prayed anyway. I say "revised" because before that, I had hoped to get married right after college. And when that didn't happen, I made the necessary adjustments in my mind to find something else to hope for. I literally considered how much longer I thought I could make it being single, without dying, and I landed in July 2013. I thought that was even pushing it a little.

Yet here I am. It's July 2013. And I'm still single. Still alive.

Ok, maybe it's not amazing to anyone else that I'm still alive. My guess is that I'm probably the only one who thought there was reasonable cause to doubt. But really...I can hardly believe that I actually survived.

Because when I made those timelines, the future seemed so far away. I thought it would take forever to get here. Which is why I was fairly convinced that I might die first. But now that I'm here, it actually feels like time went by surprisingly quickly.

The other thing that I think is kind of amazing is that I'm not mad at God. Because I prayed for something very specifically. But it didn't happen. And He had the power to make it happen. But He didn't. And that's ok with me. 

Which means I've learned something. I guess it could also just mean I'm having a good day, but let's go with the former. 

I've learned that when God doesn't answer my prayers the way I want Him to, according to my timeline, it never ever means that He has stopped loving me or has stopped answering my prayers. Instead, it usually means that I need some perspective to see or imagine the possibilities that I am currently unable to see. Because there is more happening around me and in the spiritual realm than I could ever know. But God knows about it all. And He's lovingly working it out, somehow, someway, that my limited self is unable to comprehend. And the best part is that He's graciously doing it all to make those who love Him more like Jesus (Romans 8:28-30)

And I guess that's what faith does. A perspective of faith is based on who God is and what He says, not on circumstances. And it gives you eyes to see the unseen, to believe the impossible, to hope when all hope seems lost. (Hebrews 11:1, 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, Romans 4:18-25).

So I'm not mad. How could I be mad? Mad at a God who owes me nothing yet gives me everything? He's already given Jesus for me, which is more than enough, but with Him, that's just the start of all the good He wants to lavish upon His children (Romans 8:32). And that means there's more than enough to be grateful for. So I'm thankful that God is in control of my life and has planned it better than I could. He surely knows me better than I know myself. He knows the things that I want. He even knows all about the wonderful things that I don't even know are an option - that I don't even know enough to specifically pray for. 

And so I'll keep praying. Because when He does answer specifically, then I can give Him credit for it. And when He doesn't answer in the way I thought I wanted, then I can assume He's answering in another way - maybe by doing something to bless me in a way I didn't even know was possible. Because I know my Father. And He doesn't give me a snake when I ask for a fish. Ever. ^"Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! (Matthew 7:9-11). 

When Jesus spoke these words of His Father's goodness, He's the Only One who knew how deep, how red, His Father's love was toward us. Because that love had a cost that Jesus Himself chose to bear. He would be the One who would pray specifically to His Father and ask to be delivered, but instead, the Father would give Him the cup of wrath to drink. And He would trust in His Father's goodness so completely that He would bank His very life on it. When circumstances were at their worst, as He died on that cross, He knew that His Father was accomplishing the most amazing act of history - the salvation of men. Jesus submitted His timeline to His Father and trusted in His Father's good plan. That same Spirit that gave Jesus power to endure and to raise from the dead now lives in us who have turned to Him to receive the salvation He accomplished!

This is awesome news! Because life is hard. And disappointing. And God doesn't answer our prayers the way we want Him to. But He still loves us. He's still good. Just look at Jesus! (Hebrews 12:2-3). And He gives us power to endure. So we can still have joy. We can keep trusting Him. We can keep praying. And He gives us the grace to submit our life timelines to Him.

Looking back, it's so clear that the Lord has sustained me thus far. And since I've truly enjoyed this beautiful life the Lord has graciously given me, it seems pretty likely that I'm actually going to really love the future, no matter what it may hold, no matter the timing. 

So when God reminds you that He doesn't operate according to your timeline, 

Loving Him is Red!

What are you tempted to believe about God when He doesn't answer 

your prayers on your timeline? 

What would it look like to choose to believe His Word by faith, 

instead of letting circumstances define your response?

I Love/Hate the 4th of July

I love the 4th of July! I just do. I'm pretty sure I always have. I don't even know why.

Ok, ok, I know why....

Here are a few reasons:

1. The Warren 4th of July Parade - Yes, my hometown has a parade, and it's awesome! People literally come from far and wide. You don't even understand. We locals put our lawn chairs out along the parade route up to a week in advance just to reserve our prime seating. My cousins and I used to sit right on the curb so that when candy would be thrown from the floats, we could be the first to run and get it. Heading home with a sack full of candy was the only way to go! Then when it was time for the much anticipated Zem Zem cars to perform, we pulled our feet to safety so that as the little cars roared past us, our toes wouldn't be in any danger of getting run over. But we were still always a bit scared, nonetheless, which was part of the fun. And finally we would spot our grandpa, all decked out as Poppy the Clown. After getting a family picture with him, certain relatives, like my mother, thought that it was time to go home. But I always wanted to stay til the end. For me, there is just something truly delightful about a parade. I honestly think everyone should make the effort to come to my parade. I'm serious.When I spent a summer in Harrisburg, I assumed that our state capital would certainly have an even more spectacular parade to celebrate our country's birthday. Nope. No parade. None. Warren is the place for a parade. You can laugh at me all you want, but it makes me sad to be anywhere else on the 4th of July if I have to miss my favorite parade. 

2. The Annual Family Camping trip - When I was young, my whole family used to go camping over the 4th of July. It was one of my favorite times in the entire year. My cousins and I would go on many an adventure. We loved walking to the nearby creek to catch as many crayfish as we possibly could. And of course we had to bring them all back to show our parents what valiant crayfish hunters we were. They were never nearly as impressed with our skills as we were, so they made us promptly release our little hostages back into their natural habitats. We also loved taking long bike rides and discovering new trails in the beautiful surrounding woods. And night is when the fun would really begin. Fireflies would emerge from the trees, and it became our favorite game to spot them all and catch them in a jar. My aunt would sing songs with us around the campfire for what seemed like hours on end. She always had new ones to teach us. We especially loved the one about the Austrian yodeler. And to top it all off we roasted marshmallows til they were perfectly golden brown and made s'mores. In fact, it was on one of our camping excursions where I had my very first s'more. What a thing of beauty! 

3. Fireworks - If there could be a fireworks display every night, I'm pretty sure that I still wouldn't get sick of them. I just really love fireworks. They're my favorite. And through some stroke of genius, America has decided to particularly embrace these beautiful things and set them perfectly to music to celebrate it's birthday. Whoever thought of such an idea surely gets a gold star in my book. 

4. Summer - The 4th of July is pretty much the quintessential celebration of summer! And I love summer! No other season even comes close! It's warm! It's beautiful! It's perfect! 

5. America's birthday - I love America! I really do! And I feel very privileged to have been born here. When I stop to think of it, I feel so humbled that I get to benefit from all the advantages that living in this nation affords me. I'm thankful that those who came before me were willing to fight for freedom and to make our country great. I may or may not even get a little teary during songs like "God Bless the USA."


But...despite these wonderful things that make the 4th of July particularly enchanting in my mind, there are a few things that make me sad when reality actually hits. The truth is, my present experience of the holiday can never quite seem to live up to the memory of past celebrations. My family doesn't go camping anymore. Various family members can't even travel in anymore. And sometimes it just literally rains on my parade. But even if we were all together and did the same things, I know it still wouldn't feel the same. And I just long for someone in my life to understand how much these things have meant to me, someone who loves me with a red love, someone who just wants to be with me in the longing and disappointment, someone who deeply desires to make it all better. But it feels like no such someone will ever appear. Thus, though I do love the 4th of July, it often ends up disappointing me. 

Unsurprisingly, I'm not the only one who experiences this sort of disappointment. In his book, The Prodigal God, Tim Keller writes about the very same feelings. He says:
"Many of us have fond memories of times, people, and places where we felt truly home. However, if we ever have an opportunity to get back to the places we remember so fondly, we are usually disappointed...Home, then, is a powerful but elusive concept. The strong feelings that surround reveal some deep longing within us for a place that absolutely fits and suits us, where we can be, or perhaps find, our true selves. Yet it seems that no real places or actual family ever satisfies these yearnings, though many situations arouse them." Keller then goes on to say that starting with Adam and Eve's expulsion from Eden, the Bible records one account of exile after another, and that as God's people, we have been wandering in search of our true home ever since. "That is, we have been living in a world that no longer fits our deepest longings"(91-96).

So if what I'm looking for no longer exists in this world, as long as I'm trying to find it here, I am sure to only encounter greater and greater disappointments. If I want true hope, I have to face the fact that as long as I'm living on earth, I will feel like an exile who's looking forward to my true home. Heaven is the place where I really belong, where all these longings are sure to be satisfied. Jesus is the one who has gone there to prepare a place for me, after He first came here - into my exile - so that He could pay the price for the sins that had isolated me from my Father's house and from Him - my true love (John 14:1-7). 

And if I'm longing for someone who understands, no one understands what it means to be an exile more than Jesus. He left His home from all eternity to become a man - to enter my world of hurt and sin and brokenness. And He did it all to right the wrong that I committed but couldn't undo. (John 1:1-14). I deserve to feel the pains that sin has brought into this world, because I spit in my Father's face and separated myself from Him. Yet He had compassion on me, made it right once and for all through the cross, is making it right through the process of redemption, and will one day make all things right when He finally defeats sin and death forever. The someone I have been hoping for has come, is with me now, and will appear again (Matthew 28:20, Colossians 3:4, Titus 2:11-14).

And if that's really the case, then it's ok that I won't find what I'm looking for now. I can just simply enjoy the simple pleasures of the 4th of July without expectation that they will live up to my memories. And I can enjoy the new memories as they form. I can thank the Lord that He gives us so much grace to let us see little glimpses of the things we'll experience in eternity. And I can know for sure, that He's the One who created me, loves me deeply, knows me better than anyone else, and experiences the joy in my heart right along with me when I love the things He's made me to love. And when I feel that divine homesickness that is so apt to pop up, He feels it on my behalf and can't wait til He can bring me home to Him forever. 

In the midst of all we love and long for...Loving Him is Red!

Do you have memories of special events or times that often leave you disappointed when present realities don't measure up? What would it look like to simply enjoy them and let them point you to your true love and heavenly home?