And yet...I was. Because, quite honestly, moving has been one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
For years, I have been waiting to find a man I would be excited to follow anywhere. And moving made me realize that I had already found him.
How did I come to this realization, you ask? Well through my new favorite pop song, of course!
In the midst of all my packing, I stumbled across a song that, after hearing it once, I played over and over again: Rather Be by Clean Bandit featuring Jess Glynne. The beautiful blend of classical violin mixed with a dance beat made for an excellent mood elevating song in the midst of the tedium that is packing.
But it wasn't til I was driving away from State College that the lyrics began to stand out to me in a deeper way. It was like they were speaking directly into my heart and my life:
"We're a thousand miles from comfort. We have traveled land and sea. But as long as you are with me, there's no place I'd rather be."
As the words began to resonate in my mind, I couldn't help but reflect on all that was happening to me...
To say that my move was forcing me to step outside of my comfort zone, would be an understatement. It felt like that one small step was taking me "a thousand miles from comfort," and I was terrified that that step would leave me feeling completely and utterly alone. And yet, at that moment, as I drove away from State College, alone in my car, I realized that I felt anything but alone. My favorite person in the whole world had already gone out of his way to make sure that I felt known and loved.
Just the night before, some of my State College and intern friends had thrown me an amazing dance party to commemorate my last night in town. And I'm not just talking about the kind of "dance party" where there's music playing, but everyone just stands around. This was a legit setup with a sound system, spinning colored lights, and everything! Plus everyone actually danced! It was so much fun! An absolutely fitting way to spend my last night in State College!
And now, as I traveled along the sunny backroads to Lewisburg, it occurred to me that the weather was absolutely perfect for a moving day. The lovely blue sky, the white puffy clouds, the warm sun, the green rolling hills that seemed to go on for miles…seeing them all in faultless combination took my breath away. It was truly awe -inspiring.
Then it hit me.
I couldn't help thinking about the fact that there is already someone in my life who knows everything about me. He knows me better than anyone I've ever met. He knows the things that thrill me. He knows the things that make me cry. He knows how much I love dance parties. He knows how much I love the beauty of nature. He knows that music is the path to my heart.
He knew that a sunny drive through the magnificent Pennsylvania countryside would be the best possible way to lead me out of State College and into Lewisburg. And He knew just the right song lyrics to use to speak to my heart at just the right moment.
"But as long as you are with me, there's no place I'd rather be."
And in that moment, I felt in my heart what I had already known in my head. As long as the Lord is with me, I can go anywhere and do anything that He calls me to. And there is never a time when He is not with me - His Spirit lives inside me! And that means I have nothing to fear. But not only that...I can actually enjoy the adventure of stepping outside of my comfort zone simply because I am taking that step with my favorite person - the one who loves me more than anyone I've ever known. So I would rather go with Him, wherever He leads, than be anywhere else with anyone else. As long as He is with me, there really is no place I'd rather be.
So I already have epic romance. I have the love of a man who was so unwilling to let me get away that he continued to pursue me, even when I utterly rejected him. Jesus loved me with his dying breath. That's the kind of love I've always wanted - the stuff of fairytales - except this is real life! This is the only love that will do - the only love that could give me the courage to face any and every scary thing that life could throw my way.
The truth is, I had been wanting to go to this place in my relationship with God for a while. But I think I was just too scared to take the steps needed to get there. Because I knew for Him to be the supreme love of my life, I needed to let go of the lesser loves that were competing for His place. And I'm so glad that moving forced me to do that.
"O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways…Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. " Psalm 139:1-3,7-8
"I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken…You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:8,11
When you're with the one who loves you most - Loving Him is Red!